Theatre Review: "Mr. and Mrs. Fitch"

I apologize for being gone from the blogging world so long... I was called away to London, then France, then Aruba, each with a top secret mission. In essence, I became a spy, but decided that the life of a spy, while good on paper (spy paper), was a little too fast paced for me. So I decided to come back to NYC and become a slightly broke actor again. Now THAT'S adventure dammit! And the first show I saw when I came back from my adventures was Second Stage's "Mr. and Mrs. Fitch." Wow. What a terrible, terrible choice...

The play starts with the two title characters (and the only two characters we see on stage) Mr. and Mrs. Fitch, a married couple who write an online entertainment blog together. Together they bicker about life, make jokes about entertainment and technology, and discover that the thing they need to do, in order to become relevant again, is to create a fictional celebrity. They write about him as if Mr. Smith spoke to him at a fancy after party, and act as if they've "discovered" a fantastic new personality. Complications arise. The couple, played by John Lithgow and Jennifer Ehle, are meant to be presented as a fun loving, wise cracking rat-a-tat-tat couple who can joke about Twitter and dance the Charleston at the drop of a prop hat (or a prop iPhone, which was dropped at one point in the performance I saw and never again picked up. Cause, you know, that's what real people do). Unfortunately, they both come off as annoying, smug, and are actually presented as two people you would never want to spend more than 2 minutes with, let alone 2 acts. Lithgow, however, is very good, thumping around the stage and spitting out a few great zingers ("You know, theater, that thing that movie people do when they want to announce they’re available for television.") and even in the incredibly unnecessary second act he trumps along gamely and always has a sense of fun in his delivery. Ehle does not have the luxury of Lithgow's shinning persona.

I read over Ehle's bio and noticed that she's starred on Broadway in Sure Thing, Design for Living, & The Coast of Utopia so it's quite obvious that producers trust in her acting chops. I, however, saw an actress finally ready for Community Theatre in Ohio. Ehle mugs, rants, and is just plain bad. The most interesting thing about Ehle is a very cool scar she has on her right arm that is showcased much better than her acting ability. THAT I enjoyed. But I kept praying for an accident on stage that would force her understudy to leap on and replace her (is that mean? Probably, but it's true). Add that with the fact that she had zero chemistry with Lithgow and you've got one miscast actress. Surely she's better than this performance. Right? Right...? (cricket... cricket... cricket...) Scott Ellis does succeed in his directing though. The actors remembered their lines (wait, no, not all of them...), and they do move from stage left... to stage right... sit back down at the center table behind a laptop... grab something off the bookshelf, rinse, and repeat. Oh, I forgot! Ehle cracks an egg and then leaves it in the kitchen never to be mentioned again. I guess the iPhone drop wasn't the only thing she immediately forgot about. So thank you Scott Ellis for letting the characters...well...move. Great directing. Top shelf.

The worst part of this trainwreck is actually Douglas Carter Beane's script. In the past, Beane has not only succeeded, but soared. Both As Bees in Honey Drown and The Little Dog Laughed were not only fantastic scripts, but were fueled with great direction and great original casts. This time around, Beane tackles the entertainment industry again, but with plodding results. The majority of the jokes are lame, the plot is almost non existent, and after spending an evening with Mr. and Mrs. Fitch (which is, also, the only way they address each other. Because, you know, that's what real people do) you don't only want to go home, but you want to pick up the nearest bottle of...anything and keep drinking until the memories of this sad sack of a play are gone. Unfortunately for you (and me) those memories will arise again. Hopefully, for all of our sakes, Mr. and Mrs. Fitch will not. If you do end up being dragged to this show, note that the best part of the entire evening is a non speaking one: Allen Moyer's fantastic Upper East Side set. Now THAT has character...


By Douglas Carter Beane. "Directed" by Scott Ellis. Sets by Allen Moyer. Starring John Lithgow, Jennifer Ehle. Presented by Second Stage Theatre, 305 West 43rd Street, Manhattan; (212) 246-4422. Through April 4 (if we're lucky, ONLY till April 4th...). Running time: 2 hours.